I have been getting emails from a reputable organization which are of no interest to me because they are statistics about money flows in mutual funds. I had erroneously subscribed when I thought it was a different type of data. So, today I tried to unsubscribe. And this is what I got as a confirmation email acknowledging my request (I’ve masked the name of the organization).

We have received a request for the removal of your email address, “ireneetz@siegelgale.com” from the www-update@lists.oho.org mailing list. To confirm that you want to be removed from this mailing list, simply reply to this message, keeping the Subject: header intact. Or visit this web page:

If you do not wish to be removed from this list, simply disregard this message. If you have any other questions, send them to www-update-owner@lists.oho.org.

Is this a joke? Instead of giving me four unintelligible options, how about one that is clear? Why must I jump through hoops to stop getting emails from them? Does anyone realize that this message is literally jibberish? Do I really need to be protected from “unsubscribe” pranksters–if such a class of criminal really exists?

If Best Buy or Circuit City were forced to display the instruction manuals next to their products in the stores, no one would ever buy another digital camera, plasma television or home theater. A classic example is the 147-page instruction manual that came with my newly purchased surround sound receiver. Once my eyes saw the manual, my ears no longer wanted surround sound.

Had I thumbed through the manual in the store, I would have seen the warning signs:

• 36 part names on the front panel; 14 more on the display and 19 more on the rear panel;
• dozens of illustrations that looked like plates of spaghetti (a preview of the many wires I would find shortly); and
• the coup de grace—a chapter titled, “Easy Set-up and Operation.”

Why is it that the words “easy” and “simple” are only present when the task at hand will be anything but?

Of course, the electronics retailers are not to blame. The manufacturers, specifically their engineers, are the ones who dream up the hundreds of features. Then the writers of the manuals make it worse. The manual I was reading seemed to be written for either a moron or a rocket scientist. One page had cartoon drawings of the receiver crying, melting and otherwise exhibiting human traits while the next talked about “connecting the pre-out terminals, the trigger-out terminals and the multi-zone terminals.” I can’t even say that this manual seemed to have been translated into English from another language. I think someone actually wrote it this way.

Since I had 146 pages to wade through, I didn’t appreciate the writer’s inability to get to the point. You tell me whether it was necessary to have these as three distinct steps, “Read instructions…,” “Retain instructions…,” and “Follow instructions…” At that point, the only one I wanted was “Burn instructions…”

Will I ever buy another piece of electronics—yes, but not from this company.