My mail is killing me. Well, only one letter—the one from the tree-spraying company—actually discussed calling the poison control center. But every day, I get a letter from one company or another who is trying to hoodwink me, treat me like a number, confuse me or scare me. What’s more, they are doing the same to all of my friends and neighbors. Eventually, these seemingly small but annoying interactions become the memorable aspects of my relationship with these companies.

Con, dupe, brush-off and scare. These are hardly the brand attributes companies aspire to. In one week, I got letters soliciting a maintenance warranty, a thanks for being a customer letter from my cell phone carrier, a dispute resolution letter from a charge card provider and an annual renewal from the tree-spraying company. And here’s what I thought as I opened each of them:

“You are trying to rob defenseless invalids.”

“Using the words ‘hassle-free’ six times in two pages has me worried.”

“If you were any more impersonal, you would have called me customer 1234567.”

“18 pages of warning labels for pesticides—you must be kidding.”

Companies spend millions burnishing their brands and then undermine them with a stroke of the pen. The first one was a letter from the company that installed a chair-lift in my home for my mother. They wanted me to pay them $295 for: “A Preventive Maintenance Visit (PMV) is a twice yearly check and lubrication of your lift by our factory trained technicians. At this time, you will be advised as to any repairs needed on your lift. (Repairs will be performed, if you desire, at an additional charge). In plain English, they will oil the chair. This letter is accompanied by a full page of legal terms and conditions. Taking advantage of the old and infirm is a lovely brand image, no? In my opinion, this company is using legalese, acronyms and mumbo-jumbo to intimidate customers into signing.

My next bit of mail seems to have a nicer message but turns out to be cunning. It’s from my wireless phone carrier who apparently is so happy to have me as a customer they can’t contain themselves. The gist of the letter and enclosed brochure is that I’m being granted a “Worry Free GuaranteeR” and assured a “no-hassle experience.” However, this nirvana exists only online where I could answer all my questions—myself! Presumably, I will be nicer to myself than their customer service representatives would be. So, if I fall for this one, I feel duped.

My charge card company—one of the ones that rules the world—sends letters that are so garbled they are rendered meaningless. “Please understand that US Mighty is not unsympathetic to your situation in which we can intervene.” What does that mean? It’s not even grammatically correct.

“…we have removed the previously suspended amount(s) we kept on your account during our investigation, which will reflect on an upcoming statement.” They are dancing around the fact that they found against me and I’m liable for the charge. It sounds like a computerized version of Mad Libs where kids string phrases together to form hilarious results.

The last envelope is the coup de grace. Every year, I get my oak trees sprayed to prevent inchworms and gypsy moths. They mailed me a flat manila envelope filled with 18 pages of unintelligible warning labels from the “natural” chemicals they intend to use. Hiring an assassin would be less intimidating. I’m certain that the local gardener is required by law to send me these warnings so my annoyance is directed not at him but at the bureaucrat I picture at the FDA who says this qualifies as making an informed choice.

I am not alone in wanting clarity, transparency and simplicity, and I can prove it. Global brand consultancy, Siegel+Gale, conducted a survey last month and found that 84% of consumers say that they are more likely to trust a company that uses jargon-free, plain English. Three-quarters think that complexity and lack of understanding played a significant role in the current financial crisis. Companies need to wake up to the fact that communication in all its forms—online, in person, by phone, in print—is the crux of what shapes customer experience. Sore touch points are slow to heal.

What should companies do to improve the customer experience? They have to pay attention to multiple touch points simultaneously and look for the frequently overlooked touch points that I call “unheralded.” These unheralded touch points are repetitive and important to customers but not as visible or prominent as advertisements or marketing brochures. Unheralded touch points include letters, transactional communications, self-service websites, call centers, and phone trees.

They should think of customer touch points as hot buttons. Each point of contact, each impression, each interaction should be considered as a possible make or break moment in the relationship.